Notepad 16 Aug 2009 16:18:17 GMT The latest updates from IntellectualOutcast.org, home of Vathras' works and thoughts. http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/ Intellectual Outcast Productions vathras@intellectualoutcast.org Blog en vathras@intellectualoutcast.org http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/brain.gif Two corners of humanity, curiosity and imagination. The first drives us forward, motivates us to push into the unknown - to try to understand the world around us. The second is our perception, our concepts, but also our obstacles, our curse. The greatest amongst us hold both these virtues in great amount. And in so having often have the most troubles in the integration with societies mores and expectations. Ultimately does intelligence and alienation walk hand in hand. 16 Aug 2009 16:18:17 GMT http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/#08/16/09 76AB94E4-59CA-7C21-9DCF-A743B1E2DE68 Regret is a girl in a seat she cannot leave, speaking words you do not hear, asking for something you can spare but falsely respond about. She is one to be ignored or forgotten - but I cannot do either. Who are you, why were you there that night. What was your story. When I walked the streets alone in search of the inspiration I lost did I foolishly dismiss it with a lie. And so you will stay with so many others - joining the chorus of memories that scar my past and direct my future. Will your memory change me before more like you join my own personal torment, lurking on the peripheral of my thoughts. 6 Jul 2009 20:32:16 GMT http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/#07/06/09 42BCA4E4-45ED-0C00-9DCF-C323A1E2DB24 I say distance makes the heart grow fonder not absense. Distance provides the proper blur to perspective that close analysis cannot offer in the scientific depths of microscopic study. Faded memories and nostalgia for events that when happening to you were far less pleasant than what is being presented to you at a later date. Beauty may be the easiest of things to apply in this sense, though even ideals or faith cannot hold against face to face scrutiny for long. The closer you are to the subject the more apparent the flaws are. The question is are we looking for these flaws, or are they just easier to see the nearer to our target we get. The farther apart the easier to see past the imperfections. Softer remembrance, rounded edges, fuzzy logic applied to things that otherwise are lit by the harsh fluorescent light of reality. We all have heard the death is in the details, or to look at the big picture. Is the simple fact that everything breaks down in the human mind to see things in the best "light" from afar but once you get down to the nitty gritty seeing the truth to it? 15 Nov 2008 22:17:39 GMT http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/#11/15/08 92BBA4E4-94BD-0C00-9DCF-F363A1E2DB94 Fear drives all the whispers in the dark. The dark is inside us all. The unknown is what lurks there. It is something very basic, built into the deep subconscious of our being. Therefore fear drives us all. So the question is, what do you do with your fear. Do you let it control you and shut you down, paralyzing you in your actions. Do you push it away and seek to conquer it and overcome it becoming a cold intellectual creature. Or do you use your fear to drive you forward, an instinctual presence on your journeys that keeps you rooted in the primal soup of emotions that surge and wane like the tides. It is said that a man with no fear cannot enjoy life. I think I am taking the road less traveled, to embrace my fear and allow it to empower and exhilarate me. 21 Oct 2008 22:13:39 GMT http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/#10/21/08 66AAF9F1-08DD-4B27-9DCF-F363A1E2DB94 In passing over my threshold in the light of the early morning the world exists in shades of black and gray. The crisp chill of autumn air forces its way across my skin and into my lungs, filling my nose with the faint scent of damp decay. Moisture laden stones further permeate the cold through the worn soles of my feet, causing a numbing ache that flows up through the bones of my legs. The warmth and joy of summer is but a memory now, a time that moved too swiftly. Days and nights wasted in idle practices and not savored to their fullest. Fall is a time of regret and long thoughts to how fast our lives must move. How many things have we put off til tomorrow when tomorrow never comes, how many things have we never accomplished in our yesterdays. How many summers will we mourn the passing of. 9 Oct 2008 12:09:33 GMT http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/#10/09/08 AF739159-3DF8-4356-A24E-8143E8E5C7B7 Alright, I am online a lot and a few people I know wonder what the hell I am doing in my spare time. Well I have to admit, I am an avid PC gamer. And a firm supporter of indie games most specifically. After all you would have to be since there currently is a major problem in the PC gaming marketplace. With lack of major releases (this year especially) and companies relying on bad DRM schemes that do little but hurt their true customers and make them feel like criminals just for wanting a game that works. Recently I have taken to playing Zombie Smashers X3 again by Ska Software, having enjoyed and purchased every single game they have developed so far. I am eagerly awaiting The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai, and hope that it isn't released solely on Xbox Live Arcade though, as I have no plan in the future towards purchasing any consoles. As for online gaming, though I still take part on a few old school text based mu*s, along with playing on Urban Dead, and Astro Empires. I have taken a break from FPSing on Steam, where my two favorite games at this time are Zombie Panic Source and Team Fortress 2. I also consider myself an avid collector of PC games, going as far back as late eighties CRPGs in original boxes with manuals and so forth. This of course has extended to also purchasing way too many games on my Steam account as well. So, I finally got around to adding an RSS feed on my blog here, and updating my Facebook profile. I was thinking of adding a count up to the cancelling of my site hosting timer, but that might be in bad taste and result in summoning bad luck. 4 Oct 2008 07:21:07 GMT http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/#10/04/08 7F602FAB-6D7A-4447-86B8-7D6DD6597A70 One of my friends woke me up prior to the crack of noon to go see some rallycross stuff at a dirt track about thirty minutes away. So with generous postive ideology towards the particular scenario, along with the fact that it would cure the current rate of boredom inhabiting my existence I came with. The taste of dust and fumes permeate the air as amateurs, pros, and enthusiasts crash the course at variable speed. It is already visible that in many cases the shinier the car is the more it makes up for apparent lack of driver skill. Vehicles line up and drivers handle their steering wheels with visceral tension, always keeping in mind they are racing against the clock and the course - ever changing with person plowing their way across the furrows in the track. Over time grit and smoke choke the back of your throat and eyes as a sea of Subarus stir up the ground. Despite the large showing of Subs, several other cars including an Audi, Mitsubishi, Toyota, Hyundai, and a few Volkswagens fill out the parade of racers. Some cars are day to days, some made for this purpose on shakedowns for more important future dates. Taking time away from the spectating to have a tasty beverage leads to disappointment in missing an orange Volkswagen rolling. The driver came away fine, the car having some front end damage and a cracked windshield, both easily fixed with some time and work due to the installed rollcage. And so the day for one man didn't end with beating his previous course time, but with these immortal words, "I think I bent my Wookie." 22 Sep 2008 13:17:15 GMT http://www.intellectualoutcast.org/#09/22/08 FD6223E1-D731-4E8F-BA60-412A46444E70